stunt Double / Actor Responses 2

7Tre of Hard Hitta Ent.

Are u serious? Who knows how the confrontation will turn out... someone may end up dead! Waste of time and money( your therapist)
However, slowly letting go of your past and putting these issues in God's hand, u'd be better off. If most of them are dead, theres no sense in holding onto something thats not beneficial to you that they left behind. You have a life to leave and the pains of the past will disable u mentally, emotionally and maybe worst. Forgiveness is easier said than done, but u will truly be able to move forward with your life. Things happen that we don't always understand but if were truly to live life to the fullest, we must come to the acknowledgement of the Truth. And Jesus Christ IS the way, the truth, and the life! Lets trust Almighty God and live by faith!

Pedro Gonzalez

I hadn't thought about it that way. I have just calculated the amount of money that I have spent on my therapist ... and I could have bought a BMW!

You seem to be very intelligent.

I would like to pay you to be my life/spiritual advisor! We would meet once a week at your connivence. You will advise me on all aspects of my life.

Let me know if you are interested in changing my life!

7Tre of Hard Hitta Ent.

Good morning,
Glad the word of encouragement could help. You have everything you need within yourself to accomplish the TRUE desires of your heart; weather it be spiritual wholeness, successful life and lifestyle, etc. I take no credit for "changing your life" but rather the truth of the matter is responsible. The secret is to know who we are and whose we are. The question is who did God make us to be? Who am I in Jesus Christ? That is our TRUE identity! Once we grasp that, by faith, the rest is history(as they say)! Don't take my word, but go to the bible or your place of worship and confide in trusted church officials. I'm only a servant spreading the good news; I have my trials just like everyone else. I don't own a house on the hill and as of now can't afford car insurance! BUT, I do know who God made me to be, I do rest in peace from ALL fear in the world today, I do have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, I do walk, live by faith and not by sight and I will have ALL that God says I can in due time. My desires are not my own, but God also wants them for me! The knowledge/wisdom didn't come overnight or directly from my being intelligent, but by earnest prayer with an sincere heart and a wanting of the truth. I accepted and here I am today; better off than I was 5 years ago! It takes time. I'm in it for the long run for this is all my choice! Lunch sound good.

Stunt Double / Actor Responses 1

Bill Ives

So as weird as your ad would sound to most people, I understand what you are trying to achieve. I think everyone needs some help here and there. I am going out to california in the fall to start my acting career and would love to use my abilities to help you relieve stress. feel free to email me back about details and payment.

Brett Malloy (Pedro Gonzalez)

Here are the roles that I will need you to play, how good is your range?

Ryan Berkley

Jock, Bully, friend of my brother. Called me Butt Malloy. I used to walk to school everyday. Ryan would see me, speed up and swerve toward me forcing me into the ditch getting mud all over my clothes. He also used to slam me into lockers and stomp on my bag lunch. I tried to bring my gremlins lunchbox to school instead but that just brought on more teasing. (Committed Suicide)

Grandma
My grandmother raised me because my parents preferred drugs over me. She was very abusive. When I would come home covered in mud she would force me out in the yard and hose me off ... even in the middle of winter. She also had a giant dowel rod that she used to beat me with regularly. (died of cancer)

Dad
Filthy hobo, would do anything (and i do mean anything) to get high. (stabbed in an alley)

Carol
Barista
Absolutely stunning but I am too scared to ask her out. How do you look in a blond wig?

Would you prefer being paid hourly or a set amount? (maybe per character if you don't think you can pull them all off)

Bill Ives

To be honest I could probably do all of the characters. What would you require me to do say as these roles? What do you want to say to these different people because violence arousing probably would be a bad idea. I'll send you a few pictures of myself. Do you mind me asking what your occupation is? I would probably prefer to be paid hourly.

To be continued ...

Stunt Double / Actor

I am posting this under the advice of my therapist.

About a year ago I had a mental breakdown while at work. I was working late on a Friday taking a call from an irate customer who was not satisfied with the work we had just done for them. The next thing I remember is the EMTs taking me out on a stretcher. It was Monday morning, I had been completely catatonic all weekend long, frozen in time.

After a couple months of therapy we have determined that I have some unresolved issues with a few people in my life and I need to confront them. The problem is most of them are dead.

I am looking for someone to dress up and act like the people that I have to confront.

E-mail me for more information. Thanks for looking.

Looking for crippled dogs - Responses

After getting flagged and removed about a dozen times I think its time to call this one dead. No responses except for this guy who posted his own craigslist ad that got flagged & removed.

re: Looking for crippled dogs

get a fuken life seriously. put that dog out of its misery and go get laid or something. retaeds these days.

http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/pet/1688703495.html

Looking for crippled dogs

A friends dog was recently hit by a car. He decided to save muffin's life knowing that she would be permanently disabled and would require the use of a wheelchair. I was over by his house helping build some wheelchair ramps for muffin. 2 cases of beer and 1 wheelchair ramp later we had an epiphany "how effing cool would it be to race wheelchair dogs in the backyard?"

A great man once said - "If you build it they will come."

The track is built, we are looking for other crippled dogs to race against muffin.

E-mail me for more details

milwaukee.craigslist.org/pet/1688547348.html

Santa Services Responses (2)

From: jay bova

To: sale-m6myz-1473670398@craigslist.org

Subject: Santa Services (Milwaukee)

Date: Nov 19, 2009 4:44 PM

number?

From: Pedo Gonzalez

To: jay bova

Subject: Re: Santa Services (Milwaukee)

Date: Nov 20, 2009 1:20 PM

I don't have a cell phone and i am rarely home during this time of year ... email is way more convenient form of communication for me.

From: jay bova

To: 'Pedo Gonzalez'

Subject: RE: Santa Services (Milwaukee)

Date: Nov 20, 2009 1:41 PM

262 853 7257

From: Pedo Gonzalez

To: jay bova

Subject: RE: Santa Services (Milwaukee)

Date: Nov 20, 2009 1:27 PM

I am at the library on the internet right now ... What kind of event is this in regard to?

From: jay bova

To: 'Pedo Gonzalez'

Subject: RE: Santa Services (Milwaukee)

Date: Nov 20, 2009 1:47 PM

santa stuff adults

From: Pedo Gonzalez

To: jay bova

Subject: RE: Santa Services (Milwaukee)

Date: Nov 20, 2009 1:43 PM

corporate event?

He never responded again ... I am almost tempted to give him a call to see what kind of gig he is offering me ...

Santa Services Responses

From: fred jones [Add to Address Book]

To: sale-m6myz-1473670398@craigslist.org

Subject:

Date: Nov 20, 2009 6:53 AM

** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY ** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home ** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping ** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html some unfortunate circumstances ????? these weren't molestation chargers were they? DWI's? geez, I don't think by what I see I'd have my lids sitting anywhere nearby much less as the photo depicts From: Pedo Gonzalez To: fred jones Subject: Re: Date: Nov 20, 2009 1:11 PM I am offended my insinuations sir. This is the same kind of bull shit that I have been dealing with for the last 3 years of my life. I had my wallet in my pocket ... some kid thought it would be funny to spread a vicious rumor. I have been vindicated in court and received a large cash settlement for wrongful termination. So why don't you just take your perverted mind and stick it where the sun doesn't shine. hotwheelfan@hotmail.com ... talk about a red flag for pedophiles. Merry Christmas Mother Fucker From: fred jones [Add to Address Book] To: pedogonzalez@earthlink.net Subject: RE: Date: Nov 20, 2009 4:09 PM Wow I guess I have a sharp hammer seeings how I hit that NAIL RIGHT ON THE HEAD SIMPLY BY LOOKING AT YOUR PHOTO, PERHAPS IT'S TIME TO GO PLAY EASTER BUNNY INSTEAD From: Pedo Gonzalez To: fred jones Subject: RE: Date: Nov 20, 2009 5:16 PM listen here freddy. You have no idea what you are talking about. You don't know me, you don't know my work. I am guessing by the way you type that you are probably an MPS dropout who completely missed this sentence. "I have been vindicated in court and received a large cash settlement for wrongful termination." Why don't you get your mind out of the gutter, and find something constructive to do with your time? Here is a tip - Little boys shouldn't play with fire ... they usually get burned.

Santa Services

Santa Services (Milwaukee)

---

Date: 2009-11-19, 4:05PM CST
Reply to: sale-m6myz-1473670398@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

I have been a professional Santa for over 20 years. I usually have a couple full time gigs during the season but due to some unfortunate circumstances my calendar is wide open this year. I will do private parties, corporate events, school functions, or scouting events. I have attached a picture of myself from a few years ago ... Against my doctors advisement I have put on 65 more pounds of Christmas cheer!

Will trade for cash, booze or parts to a '72 El Camino.

edit: did I say booze I meant cookies!

Missed Opportunities (1)

Posting something on craigslist does not guarantee a response. Some are flagged by overzealous cragslisters, some are just too absurd to generate a response. Here is the first in the series.

Pringles + Jesus = The greatest find on craigslist

For sale - One can of sour cream and onion Pringles blessed by
The one.
The only.
God's right hand man
Pope John Paul II!

Back in 2000 I took a trip to the Vatican and attended mass where where Pope John Paul gave a blessing to the entire audience. He was getting up there in a age and I believe he misspoke. Instead of blessing everyone in the audience ... he blessed everything. The only thing that I had on me besides my clothes was a backpack that contained an unopened can of sour cream and onion Pringles.

Yes these chips are almost 10 years old.
Yes the can is still unopened.

The real question is ... What will happen when you eat the chips?

A friend of mine said the can will act like the arc of the covenant and will melt my face off and devour my soul in because the Pope is not supposed to bless inanimate objects. I don't believe that though. Maybe if you eat the chips you will discover the meaning of life of get super Jesus powers or something.

The possibilities are endless!!!

I cannot put a value on these chips so I am asking you to. Send me your best offer or trade.

Wanted: Hunting Beard Responses (4)

Bryan

When I went to the barber today. I mentioned someone wanted to use my beard hair for a hunting beard. He said he used to make wigs. Anyway he shortened my beard and put all the hair in a napkin. My beard hasn't been this short in years.
I'll hang onto it for a few days. Let me know what you want to do.

Bryan

As you can see, the beard is now short. About 1/2 to 3/4 inch long now.

Where do I go from here?

Here is the latest e-mail from my bearded friend Bryan.

Bryan

Give me a call so we can meet. It will be much easier to trim my beard for someone I have met. I am sure we can come to some kind of agreement. It is really not about the money, though it helps. I can only imagine the grief you get. It would be quite the picture to see their faces this year after your lady friend pulls off this fantastically unbelievable feat!
Yes, I believe a set payment is agreeable. I would also like to see a picture of it when you go to hunting camp.

414-XXX-XXXX

The question is where do I go from here?
Give me some guidance - post a comment on the blog or facebook.
The best idea may just get a giant bag of Bryan's whiskers!
Don't make that face ... secretly you know you want it.

The picture of the beard comes from this site
http://www.feargod.net/beards.php
This guy trimmed off 5 different beards from 3 decades and for some reason saved them in ziploc bags. He also has a pretty sweet pair of debeardification pics. Check it out!

Wanted: Hunting Beard Responses (3)

Bryan

I am not ignoring you. Presently, I have been kind of busy. What is your deadline for sending the beard to the girl in CA? Are we talking the Nov gun hunt? I am already hunting since it is bow season. Have you got a phone number I can call you at?

Pedro

Yes - Gun Hunt. She kind of owes me a favor so I think she will be able to craft it in under a week.
Did you get anything with bow?

Bryan

Nothing yet. I have only gotten out twice so far. The plus is the cool weather we are getting. The deer are more active when its cold. The good thing is bow season is about 4 months long. Setting out the game camera today which a buddy is letting me use. I would like to meet you before we close the deal.

Pedro

I agree we should meet! Maybe we should discuss price first to make sure we are on the same page. I was initially going to pay per strand but your beard is very thick and manly. Would you accept a flat rate payment? I have been saving all summer long for this and have a fat stack of cash set aside for your chin curtain. Out of curiosity what are you willing to part with it for??

Wanted: Hunting Beard Responses (2)

Bryan

I cut my beard down every couple of months. It is usually 3-6 inches long. I cut it down to about 1 inch long. Would that be enough hair for your friend to work with?
bryan

Pedro

Oh my god Bryan - that is one of the most beautiful beards I have ever seen in my life! The color is perfect, my face is going to be so warm this hunting season!

It will be more than enough for my friend to work with.
When do you plan on trimming that facial masterpiece?

No response from Bryan yet ... fingers crossed!

edit: I hadn't heard from Bryan in 5 days but not 2 minutes after I posted this he responded. Stay tuned kids ... the story continues.

Wanted: Hunting Beard Responses (1)

Terry & Anna

ARE YOU NUTS?

Pedro

no. I am 100% serious.
I have been building this up for a few months. I told my friends that I am taking part in a study that helps men grow facial hair.

Now all I need is the beard hair.
Are you the person I have been looking for?

Terry & Anna

GOOD LUCK ANYWAY.

Pedro

Do you know anyone that would be interested in making a little bit of money for their beard?

maybe your mother would be interested?

Terry & Anna

Your mother said she had about six inches between her legs she was saving for you.

Wanted: Hunting Beard

I am 42 years old and if my life depended on it I could not grow a beard. Every hunting season after a couple of beers my friends start making fun of my inability to grow a beard and this continues all weekend long. Over the 4th of July weekend I ran into a friend from high school who told me she is living out in California working as a makeup artist in movies. We got to talking and she told me that she could construct a beard so realistic that nobody would ever be able to tell the difference no matter how closely they looked at it.

To pull it off I need real human beard hair.
Brown in color.
At least 1/4" long.

I will pay you handsomely to shave it off. (electric trimmer if possible)
Send me a pic of your beard with your response to this ad because time is of the essence.

$100 Large Bedroom (Responses 2.2)

Peloma

Really great answers Amy. Is there anything else you want us to know about you before we narrow it down to the final three?

BTW I would never make you take the couch if you are paying rent but my crazy aunt (in a drunken stupor) may try to sleep in your room ... you would have to lock the door on (the very few) nights that she is in town.

My roommate Christina is ecstatic to maybe have another SVU fan in the house. She wants to know who you think is the sexiest and why. (She has a thing for Elliot. she always says "He can slam me up against the wall any time he wants!")

Peloma

Amy

Well Christina, I would have to agree, Elliot is the sexiest, but I kind of have a thing for Ice-T. I like the bad boy thing.

A few things about me:
I own a full sized bed, a small dresser, a radio, and a few other decorative things (none of which I really need)... so moving in would take me about an hour. I'm very clean when it comes to my room so no worries about my clothes laying all over the floor or moldy dishes hiding under my bed (I actually found this in my current roommates room yesterday. It was really old beer in a plastic cup that had grown a thick fur of mold over the top. It was a miracle it never tipped over!!)
Also, my man friend has his own apartment so out of respect for everyone living in the house we would be taking any night time activities (such as monopoly) to his place.

If I came to live with you, I would hope that we would get to know each other and become friends. I once lived with people that never wanted to talk to me and it was very uncomfortable. Hopefully we could get coffee or hang out once and a while if we're all free.

Just for fun...
My Five Favorite Things:

1) Photography (very amateur pictures of flowers and plants, taken at parks usually)
2) Trying new foods/ new restaurants
3) Tattoos
4) Music (right now I'm listening to "Can't You See" by The Marshall Tucker Band)
5) Having fun with my current friends, and making new ones. (I'm pretty social and very accepting of other positive, open minded people)

I think that's just about everything. I hope it helps you on narrowing down the prospective renters.
Have a good one! Hope to hear from you soon.
Amy

$100 Large Bedroom (Responses 2.1)

Amy

Hi! My name is Amy, I am a freshman at UWM and I am looking for a place to live as of September 1. I like the description of your place on craigslist and very happy with the price of rent. Your apartment would be in a perfect location to get to school and work. Please let me know if it is still available- I would love to look at the place.
Thanks!
Amy

Peloma

Since the response has been so overwhelming my roommate and I are prescreening the potential roommates with a couple questions. Answer them as HONESTLY as possible.

1) We currently use the room for Rupert & Charlie and as a guest bedroom for when friends come into town. A semi frequent guest we have is my Aunt Sallyl she is a traveling salesman and a notorious drunk. Would you be willing to take the couch for a night or two when he is in town?

2) Rupert is housebroken ... most of the time. Say you woke up in the morning and stepped in a steaming pile of piggy poo. What do you do?

3) My roommate is a HUGE Law & Order fanatic. For arguments sake lets say you don't have a TV in your room. she has been watching Ice-T attempting to act for 6 hours straight and you want to watch the Brewer game. What do you do?

4) Favorite alcoholic drink

5) Would you be willing to share the room with parakeets as well?

Hope to hear from you soon
Peloma

Amy

In response to your questionaire:

1) I would have no problem taking the couch- currently I sleep on the floor so almost anywhere works for me.

2) In the event of a piggy poo mishap I would most definitley locate some paper towel and clean up for him- since I dont think pigs can clean up after themselves- and then I'd let him out for a while.

3) Most importantly Law & Order trumps the Brewers any day. So I would most likley be found watching with her- if its SVU. Other than Law & Order I dont really watch tv so there shouldnt be much competition for the remote.

4) I would have to say Pabst for my beer choice and Tequila if we're talking liquor.

5) I will share a room with any animal that currently shares the space as long as I can socialize with them. I love animals and actually feel more at home with them around. I dont have any pets currently, but before I moved to Milwaukee I had a ball python, an iguana, a dog, a guinea pig, a cat, some fish, and a hamster (not all at once of course)...

AMY

$100 Large Bedroom (Responses 1.2)

S. Weber

Hey man, just checking to see what you thought of my answers.
Have a good day,

Pedro

Sorry I have been in Illinois all weekend long at the ComicCon. My roommate and I started up a 5 man flute band called The Tashi Station Power Converters. Its a John Williams tribute band, we dress up like jedi knights & reinterpret the star wars soundtracks with only flutes. We host practice in the living room every third Tuesday of the month.

Your answers were perfect ... but my roommate is having second thoughts about renting the room out. We were planning on using the rent money to promote the bejesus out of Tashi. But after a disastrous con, he wants to rethink his involvement in the band. He thinks the we need more diversity than 5 flutes ... You don't happen to play any instruments do you?

S. Weber

Hmm.. Firstly, I am in massive love of Star Wars. And I don't just mean the films. I love the whole SWU. Secondly, I do play keyboards. I have two synthesizers.. And a computer chocked full of Muzik-Making Stuffs. I can record.. I run Cubase on the computer. Um..depending on what you want for the band, I would be interested in doing some Max Rebo-style keyboards.. Or strings and pads for your flutes to play atop of...

Also, I am starting a record label. So.. if you guys are interested in that, once the company gets up and fully functional, I would love to get you guys recorded and promoted. I would love to have something like you want to be on the label. However, even if you are not interested in what I just mentioned, I can do promotional art and leg work. I enjoy doing that.

Well, let me know what you think. Even if for some reason it doesn't work out, it's cool to know that there are cool people like you who seem to share my interests. :)

-S. Weber

PS - oh, and I do play guitar somewhat but I don't know that you would like it or that it would fit. The guitars sound like.. Dark Western Guitars. At least that is how they have been described to me. Just thought I'd throw that out there..
Erm, would you like to meet at Bremen sometime?

$100 Large Bedroom (Responses 1.1)

S. Weber

hey i was just wondering if that room is still available. please call me at 262/412-xxxx to let me know.
thanks.

Pedro

Since the response has been so overwhelming my roommate and I are prescreening the potential roommates with a couple questions. Answer them as HONESTLY as possible.

1) We currently use the room for Rupert & Charlie and as a guest bedroom for when friends come into town. A semi frequent guest we have is my Uncle Sal he is a traveling salesman and a notorious drunk. Would you be willing to take the couch for a night or two when he is in town?

2) Rupert is housebroken ... most of the time. Say you woke up in the morning and stepped in a steaming pile of piggy poo. What do you do?

3) My roommate is a HUGE Law & Order fanatic. For arguments sake lets say you don't have a TV in your room. He has been watching Ice-T attempting to act for 6 hours straight and you want to watch the Brewer game. What do you do?

4) Favorite alcoholic drink

5) Would you be willing to share the room with parakeets as well?

Hope to hear from you soon
Pedro

S. Weber

i don't mean to sound desperate, but things are dire.

1)I would not mind taking the couch.
2)I love animals to death. I am a vegetarian and find it so very hard to get mad at animals.
3)I really don't watch the Brewers, or TV that much for that matter. but, if i really woudn't mind if i wanted to watch something and he was using the TV.
4)I hardly ever drink, but if i do, it is gin. or some wine. but if others do, i dont hold it against them.
5)i would not mind sharing a room with parakeets. honestly, i mean if it is about the noise, i dont mind, as long as they dont mind my noise. :)

Thanks.. umm, is there a number i could reach you at? or would you like to meet sometime? i will be in riverwest all weekend and through wednesday. but arrangements can be made after that! and hope to hear from you! i can recieve text messages, but not incoming calls. nor can i dial out. i am sorry for the inconvenience.... i am a male too, just so you know. in case that matters. however, i dont know if any of the roomates there are female, but it doesnt matter to me. thanks!

$100 Large Bedroom - East Side Lower

Me and my roommate (both 3rd year UWM students) are looking for one more person to split the rent and utilities with. Very large East side lower, Kitchen full of newer appliances, (dishwasher included) Beautiful natural woodwork


We are looking to rent out 15' x 17' bedroom - with large closet.
You will share the room with my pet potbellied pig rupert and my roommate's Iguana Charlie. There is a pet flap installed in the door so you cannot shut them out.

You are also responsible for 1/3 of utilities.

Oakland at Kane
Location: East Side
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests