Wednesday, August 5, 2009

lets play a game called de-virginize the ginger Responses (2.1)

My dream is to become a professional ping pong player. I was coached my the legendary Nikolai Kuznetsov (Russian Ping Pong GOD) but now he refuses to train me until I grow up and become a real man. My mother weighs over 500 pounds and needs me to take care of her. Currently I am working as a stocker at super walmart mainly for the 20% discount on food. Nikolai wants me to stuff her in a nursing home and go on the pro tour, but I cannot do that to my mother.

I think when she becomes completely bed ridden it will be easier to make the tough decision. I think she is only a couple of boxes of ding dongs away from that, it is getting harder and harder for her to get on and off of her Rascal scooter, and she spends most of her time in bed.

While it is true that I live with my mother my room is completely separate from her. I have converted the entire basement into my own little bat-cave. I have everything I need down there except for one thing ... the lovin' of a good woman.

A new pic is in the works ... Still have to get this mop on the top of my head trimmed down. I may try and dig out some pictures from comic con last year. I dressed up as aquaman (my mother made the costume she was a professional seamstress.) and the costume totally shows off my junk. There MAY have been a little padding but to quote on of the greatest poets of the twentieth century.

I'm long
and I'm strong
and I'm down to get the friction on.
so basically, your emails are the highlight of my life and i think you are the most interesting person i have ever met. but i also think that you are too interesting and hilarious to even be a real person or telling the truth... hahah so i'm waiting on that newer picture...

me? my life is pretty lame right now; i wish that i had an interesting mom and life that i could entertain you with, but... i am going to college in the fall, but didnt get into the dorms so i have to live with this old woman to rent a room in her house. my parents are insane [my dad collects old mercedes that dont work, and thinks the world in going to end], hence we have our own private stock of end of the world supplies. so if there was ever a nuclear fallout or zombie attack i think i have a good chance at surviving.

i have been having a pretty fun summer so far, but now that i am grounded i'm pretty much stuck at home, so that kinda blows. but if i wasn't i would be moshing at concerts and just doing random stuff til 4 in the morning. i keep entertained easily.

my dream is to marry rich and never have to worry about money ever again. or marry someone old and recieve their will. or just fall into money. butttt since i cant just take that on as a career i am going to study engineering. we'll see how that goes.

i swam for my high school for 4 years, and did i ever tell you that my favorite superhero is aquaman? so basically you are my ultimate fantasy.

is pedo pronounced pee-do or pay-do? like pedro w/o the r?

Going to college ... so you were just planning on hitting it and quitting it? LOL! J/K. I am fine with that. really.

I am glad that I amuse you with my life ... sometimes I wish I were just a figment of someone's imagination. Then I realize that you really couldn't make this stuff up if you wanted to, my life is just too odd.

Here is a more recent picture of me in my aquaman costume.

Ping pong (even on the professional level) does not make a lot of money ... If I changed all of my cash into pennies I think I might be able to fill a kiddie pool. You could swim in them like Scrooge McDuck. You could FEEL rich and swim at the same time!

Bradley (Pey-doo)

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