Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I Want to Wrestle a Bear

I found out three weeks ago that I am going to die of an inoperable brain tumor. I got multiple opinions and they are all the same. I am going to be pushing up daises a lot sooner than later. Rather than sitting around waiting for this tumor to kill me I am choosing to go out like a real man, by wresting a giant black bear. I am not looking for one of those pansy trained circus bears who ride unicycles ... I want to wrestle a vicious man eater.

I am looking for 2 things.
1) a vicious man eating black bear to wrestle
2) somewhere to wrestle said bear

Quiet / peaceful land up north (preferably with access to wild black bears) would be ideal for this epic event. I am a welder by trade and am currently creating plans to construct a giant cage to wrestle the bear in. (think Thunderdome on a smaller scale) I have been doing some research on live bear traps and I think it will be possible to obtain or build one. You would be invited to watch the event along with a small group of my family and friends. If you could keep it low key I am willing to allow ticket sales for others to watch my final minutes.

If you can help me put this sensational event together please contact me as soon as possible. The doctors do not know how much time I have but they do not sound optimistic.

No comments:

Post a Comment